So she’s clingy and incompetent… 

There are many days where I feel like a shitty mom. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do what I need to do. I’m exhausted so I get snappy when I don’t mean to and I feel so guilty about leaving the baby with other people that I never leave him when I’m home, which isn’t fair to my girls. It sucks, but they all had me 100% as babies and he doesn’t get that. I cry, way more than anyone knows and I spend a lot of time awake at night. My life is always going and it’s hard to shut down. Then we add SO’s kids into the mix and I have to deal with all the ways their mom is screwing up. I can deal with a lot of shit. I do in fact, but I can’t deal with a piece of shit mom.  If you are tired, sleep at night. Sleep in the morning instead of blowing up SO’s phone….but to leave your kids at school because you are sleeping is fucking unacceptable. I get it. People make mistakes. This isn’t the first time though. Also, I had a “friendly” chat with her back in March when she failed to show up for a pickup and left me waiting with them for 40 mins and I ended up bringing them back home and she showed up hours later. You make “single” moms look bad. She has help. She has a boyfriend. She has family. I’m not sure how many friends she has, although I would question the quality of them. She is no different than me except  I have my shit together and I have more kids, so she needs to get her shit in line. Kids don’t need your excuses. They need a parent. Every single time she isn’t at the front of the car line those boys will now wonder if she is going to show up. It’s sad, heart breaking and pathetic. 

We have been fighting off and on about the clingy ex for days now. If you breathe my exes name SO will start ranting about the POS he is. He isn’t wrong.  His ex is only something bad when he is pissed about something and apparently all has been forgiven on his end for the school incident already.  I get that he goes off about my ex because he is so protective of me. I get it, I really do. I’ve never had someone so protective of me. Then we have his ex that gets away with whatever she wants and I’m just expected to deal with it.  No, I’m not. I want no part of it and I’m tired of fighting about her. I just told him that I will have no say or input on her and he has none when it comes to my ex.  I’m pretty sure I could see the steam come off him before he walked out. I’m not sure where he went. I won’t be trying to find out either.  We have a lot going on in our lives and she adds so much drama to it. I don’t understand why she can’t just move on with her boyfriend and leave us alone. There is a custody schedule so there is nothing to talk about. I just don’t know how long I can deal with this. Can I really do this for 13 more years? 

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Clingy Exes

My relationship is complicated to say the least. My ex is my ex, but my divorce had been dragging on for 13+ months. I can’t think of a 6 month period during our 14+ year marriage where I’m certain he was faithful. My 2 youngest think the divorce is done and final and my oldest knows everything. We live in different states and I have never gave the kids hope of us getting back together.  I can never say for certain why he drags it out, but I think it’s over money.  

My current SO had been separated for a long while when I met him after moving home to start my divorce.  We dated a bit before his ex got jealous of me and insisted they tried again “for the kids.” Eventually the guilt worked and I can’t be mad at a man trying to give his kids a proper family. It didn’t work out, never does when you can’t stay faithful, but that’s not the point here. They split up again and SO & I found our way back together. Every now and then his ex will send the most inappropriate messages and piss me off.  She likes to take walks down memory lane or randomly bring up stuff about the kids.  He couldn’t care less and just blows it off, he’s very good about telling me so I don’t stumble across the messages, but I can’t do that. I am so furious at the level of disrespect shown by this girl.  We are supposed to be adults. I am going to be the stepmother to her children.  She is constantly asking for us to pick up slack so she can take extra shifts at work, which she is fully aware means that in the morning it is me getting her sons up and off to school and yet behind my back she is disrespecting me.  My ex has also moved on and I could never in a million years imagine sending anything like she sends to my ex. Not just because I hate my ex, but because it would be disrespectful to his new girlfriend and even though I don’t know her and want nothing to do with her, I won’t give her any reason to talk trash about me to other people. Let’s not even mention my SO and how he would feel if I sent something like that to my ex. I have daughter’s. I need to be an example for them. I hope I can pass my values on to my girls because I would hate for them to grow up to be clingy and disrespectful exes.